Friday, July 25, 2008, Part 2

The Kindness of Strangers

On the way down the steep mountain where we had visited the temple, we met a lady---> whom Dr. Park inquired where the bus stop was. She immediately dropped everything and had us jump the bus line. She boarded the bus with the map from the welfare agency in hand. She directed the bus driver to where we should go. Finally, she disembarked at the next stop and boarded our next bus and again stayed up by the driver to instruct him as to where to go. I gave her a Holland, MI keychain to thank her for the 30 minutes of her life she gave to me and my journey. Incredible!

When we got off the bus, Dr. Park seemed to know we had to go to a social welfare center again. When we arrived, at the one room office, with rows of desks and bureaucracy, we were immediately ushered to some chairs at a round table in the back and the manager gave us his full attention. Again, after the sad curious look, the man seemed to pick up our inquiry into the identity of the man who found me as a personal mission. 

He began making phone calls. He finds out the address Mr. Shin gave so many years ago was a residence that has been replaced by an apartment building. Then he proceeds to contact the current residents to see if they have any information about the previous owners, leaving a message on their phone as they are most likely at work. 

He offered to walk us to the police station and he stopped to speak to some elderly people to ask if they had heard of an 81 year old man named, Mr. Shin. After some conversation we arrived at the police station. When the doors opened to reveal the inside of the police station, it was like a flashback. A cold case memory capture. It was exactly as I pictured it would be--to the details of the background postings and the bulletin board and the clock. Eerie!

The local chief stopped to discuss my case with Dr. Park and the manager from the agency. The chief suggested we go to the district office to file a formal inquiry about Mr. Shin. They are all very kind yet also business-like. The original social agency man directs us to the park where I was found.

We climb a hill and find it at the top. I have no memory of it. It feels unfamiliar. I was found right outside this park. It is different than I imagined, however. I was thinking it would be a park like Central Park in New York--heavily trafficked and used as a place where a country person could go and get lost in the crowd. Yet, the park is a small park in a relatively quaint mountain village, in my estimation.

I snap some pictures of some local men playing Korean chess. In the spirit of the day, Dr. Park and I are invited to join them on some cast-off living room furniture to talk about our adventure. One man takes a shine to Dr. Park and tells him all about how he has family in the US. He asks me several times to take his picture. I finally show him the ones I've taken.

We then look for a taxi to take us to the district police office downtown. We find the taxi driver to be a man in his 70s hoping to retire at 85 without a pension but rental property that may sustain him and his wife. Dr. Park sympathizes with him. 

Once downtown, we find a smart helpful police officer who takes our information about Mr. Shin and puts it into a central database. She finds there is no one by this name currently living in Busan. 

There are, however, 7 people with that name in all of Korea. I find out later from Dr. Park that this officer is going to send other officers to each Mr. Shin asking if he is the one who found a baby in the Dong Rae park 30 years ago. Given his age, none of us has much hope he is still alive. Yet, Dr. Park leaves his email address in case any information is found so the office can contact him in Korean. It could takes months, if at all. 

I am reminded of the story when Simeon and Anna are waiting in their old age to see Jesus before they die, as promised. Only, I don't feel like Jesus nor would suggest that Mr. Shin Hong Jeun would at all anticipate hearing from me like these two biblical figures. 

However, Dr. Park did mention that the Korean last name chosen for me, Hong, was not common. To find out that it was part of the name of the man who found me is a significant connection. 

Somehow seeing the mountainous area I was found and the friendly people, I am more likely to think of my birth circumstances as the real life part of a tragic story, rather than a fairy tale tragedy. I did scan faces in Dong Rae and felt I saw glimpses of similar features. Yet again, it's difficult for me to remember what I look like since I don't make a habit of studying the mirror. I am overwhelmed by the kindness I've been shown throughout the day. 

Many people have asked if I was seeking closure on this trip. I think it's the opposite. I HAD closure when I didn't think about my first few months of life or Korea. The trip has been more like an opening. I feel I need to be authentic. I am less a single lost mythic orphan and more one of thousands of lost children. It's both heart-breaking and more anonymous, but also less precious, more real. Someone may wonder why it's so painful to hear that your birthday and what you thought was a birth name are made up in a bureaucratic paper shuffle--but it's not only less cherished, but it's also a sense of "You lied to me." Betrayal.  I wonder what happened to each of the 500-600 babies that were found and brought to the social welfare center. I thought later to ask the man at the original place if any others had returned. 

Mark H went out of his way to return from the beach to hear my story from the day's journey. We ran into Lisa. Dr. Park and I had dinner with Mark and Lisa. We barbecued bacon and had more kimchi and cold noodle soup. 

I'm finding that telling about my more random name and birthday is really painful. I haven't cried about this loss yet. All the kindness of strangers, new friends and family in the US is such an untold blessing! 

The Nelson-Kennedy family were so sweet in their inquiry about my adventures in Busan as well. I also appreciated the several offers of fellow adoptees to take the journey with me. I so appreciated Dr. Park's devotion, translation and support for one entire day!! What a gift! 

 At the end of each day, you end up feeling like a slick salty seal due to the humidity and heat. The downpour that began on our walk back to the hotel was welcome relief! Soggy red bean sherbet--red beans and fruit over sweet milky shaved ice--was my dessert. I had no American food for an entire day. I fell into bed exhausted.